Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Let's be Honest

I got into a car accident a week ago. 

It was a mess. I mean the accident wasn't that bad but I am a foreigner in Mexico...
- in a friend's car
- with problems with insurance
- on the way to pick my husband up from the airport
- in rush hour traffic

It was a mess. 

I think what I experienced most is shame that I had an accident. If you know me well I have a complex of wanting people to not have to extend grace to me. I mean perfection is a long way off but I just want to be in a place where I am just neutral. So every time I saw the junked up car out my window, I was reminded that I screwed up. 

Luckily yesterday we took it to the place to get fixed. I told Gabo it was taking away my guilt and shame by moving it out. 

But I am not perfect. And I won't ever be and I am probably going to have more car accidents in my lifetime and I make mistakes daily. But sitting in my guilt and shame doesn't make anything better or teach me to rely on God. 

Hopefully everything works out at the mechanic and the repairs are minimal.

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