I am at home in South Bend now and it's not necessarily what I expected to say the least.



I'm learning to wait. God is teaching me that He is in control of my life and schedule and my coming and going. I hate it. It comes into fruition watching the dying process. I don't want to be morbid but most days I don't think it can get worse and then it does.




This has led me to think a lot about heaven. How does one cross from life to death? Can my grandma "see the light"? Is she waiting for someone else to come and say good-bye? I have a lot of questions and the Bible doesn't exactly answer them. I just know that there is a God who loves us and his ways don't always make sense to us.

Grandma and I at Thanksgiving 2006

I remember many summers ago I was in Myrtle Beach and when I was stressed a friend would whisper in my ear a verse that has to be my focus today.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" Jesus speaking in John 14:27